Tuesday, 12 February 2013

Week Nine Powerless Rankings

It’s that time of the week that people look forward to, as we release our latest round of powerless rankings.

It was another week of great football up and down the country given the miserable weather and, as per usual, we had a huge number of games called off due to a ‘waterlogged pitch’. If only teams have grounds men who followed American Football.

Before we begin the list, we should notify people of two teams that are now ineligible from making the list.

Lincoln Colonials and LSBU Spartans have both notified the league that they’ve forfeited all of their remaining games this season and look to re-enter the league next season. Due to the fact that neither team will be playing anymore games, they’re now exempt from making our powerless rankings. We would like to wish them all the best for next season and beyond!

10. ARU Rhinos (1-4)
A new team kicks off today’s powerless rankings as the ARU Rhinos find themselves at the number ten spot following their 1-0 forfeited loss against the Essex Blades. From what we were told, this forfeit was due to the Rhinos suffering from a lack of players. Not good news for the remaining teams on the ARU schedule...here’s hoping that they can finish out their remaining games otherwise that’ll be four teams we’ve lost this season!

Next game – vs. Westminster Dragons – 17th February

9. Edinburgh Napier Knights (0-4)
No game this weekend for the Napier Knights seems them rise one spot due to other results around them. The Knights also earn a reward for this climb in the rankings. This prize is a trip to Glasgow to take on the 5-1 Tigers this coming weekend. With a number of surprise results over the past few weeks, we wouldn’t be surprised if the Knights somehow stole this one...

Next game – @ Glasgow Tigers – 17th February

8. Greenwich Mariners (1-4)
We’ve noticed a trend at DC. When a player/team criticise our predictions/company in general, either on the blog or social media, that team then goes on to lose their next game as Brighton found out this past weekend. Unfortunately for the Mariners, one of their players took it upon themselves to send us a derogatory message over Facebook last week just before they went on to lose 41-0 to the Imperial Immortals. We don’t even need to point out that the team have the worst points conceded record in the entire league! This stuff just writes itself.

Next game - vs. Essex Blades -17th February

7. Teesside Cougars (0-5)
So close...yet so far for the Cougars as they fell to the Bradford Bears 12-8 at the weekend. With their first season in the North Eastern Conference slowly drawing to an end, the odds of the Cougars winning a game this season look rather slim considering they still have Carnegie, Northumbria and Durham. Not a season to remember for the Teesside boys!

Next game – vs. Durham Saints – 17th February

6. Wolverhampton Wildcats (0-4)
I’ve been told two different sides to the Warwick/Wolverhampton pitch/referee fiasco that has occurred over the past week or so, so we’ll leave it as – no game for Wolverhampton this week due to a number of reasons. That is all.

Next game – @ Leicester Longhorns – 17th February

5. Bath Spa Bulldogs (0-6)
A 24-8 loss against Tarannau drops the Bath Spa Bulldogs to 0-6 meaning they can’t equal last season’s 3-5 record. Oh well, let’s just blame it on a sophomore slump (DMU can claim this too). There is a positive for the Bulldogs though; their remaining two games are against the 1-3 Cardiff Cobras and 0-5 Worcester Royals. Two winnable games...possibly!

Next game – vs. Cardiff Cobras – 17th February

4. Royal Holloway Bears (0-5)
We’ve been confused in the DC towers for the past few days for one simple reason, how can a team that conceded 18 and 20 points against Kingston and Southampton respectively, go on to concede 26 against the Surrey Stingers? HOW?! Answers on a postcard please! Still, there’s no need to worry RHUL, you’ve only got Brunel and Pompey left to play, it’s not like they’re both in the playoff hunt or anything. Oh, wait...

Next game – @ Brunel Burners – 17th February

Until they play each other, Oxford and RHUL should actually be tied for the number three spot given their woeful seasons. Here’s hoping that they can sort out their postponed fixture then!

3. Oxford Lancers (0-5)
Another game, another loss and another shutout! That’s five straight games, five straight losses and four straight shutouts...the last time the Lancers scored was in week one! I bet Brunel must feel bad for being the only team to concede a point against Oxford. The good news for the Lancers is that the season is almost over; the bad news is that the team still has to face Surrey (who beat the Bears 26-0!), BNU and possibly RHUL, meaning their odds of scoring again this season are rather slim!

Next game – vs. Surrey Stingers – 17th February

2. Worcester Royals (0-5)
Oy vey! The Royals are making it hard for us to not put them at the bottom spot after their 66-0 beat down against the Swansea Titans. To be fair, if Worcester had played at the weekend, they’d probably end up being bottom! The Royals will get another chance to claim their first ‘W’ this Wednesday when they take on the lowly Cardiff Cobras (1-3). Come on boys, it’s about time you outperformed your photographer!

Next game – vs. Cardiff Cobras – 13th February

1. DMU Falcons (1-6)
For the first time in powerless ranking history, we have a team with a win to their name sitting at the bottom spot. Let’s be honest, the ‘victory’ was due to a Wolverhampton Wildcats forfeit and it improved the Falcons points for record to a whopping nine points...smooth. Shame though, this would have been a good game to decide the wooden spoon in the MAC, but now we’ll have to wait until next season for this winless encounter.

Next (and final) game – vs. Nottingham Outlaws – 17th February


  1. Put Wolves bottom next time, enough is enough when it comes to them trying to gain cheap forfeits or ties from better teams!

    1. I have no interest in the Uni game as I never played at the level or even follow any team but if you are going to say something like the above post be man enough to put your name to it
      Gareth Pullen

    2. I have no interest in the Uni game as I never played at that level or follow any of the teams but if you are going to post something like the above post be man enough to put your name to it
      Garth Pullen


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