Thursday, 22 November 2012

If NFL Quarterbacks Were Girlfriends

Ever think your NFL QB acts a lot like that girl you used to know? So did we...

Arizona – Kevin Kolb, John Skelton, Ryan Lindley: Short lived drunken hook-ups, better left forgotten. 

Atlanta - Matt Ryan: Polite, very sexy, but something of a prude- she’ll never go all the way.

Baltimore - Joe Flacco: Caring and dependable, but there’s no fire.

Buffalo - Ryan Fitzpatrick: Got married after 3 dates, living with the consequences.

Carolina - Cam Newton: Starts off hot and heavy, but ends quickly with hurt feelings.

Cincinnati - Andy Dalton: Slutty ginger, a steady booty-call. Could develop into something more.

Cleveland - Brandon Weeden: The classic she likes you more than you like her. You suspect she might be lying about her age.

Chicago - Jay Cutler: Whiny and high maintenance, but sexy with rich parents.

Dallas - Tony Romo: On again off again romance, it just can’t last forever.

Denver - Peyton Manning: Best friend’s ex-girlfriend, super-hot, but it will end badly.

Detroit - Matt Stafford: Chubby party girl, lots of fun, but nothing serious.

Green Bay - Aaron Rodgers: Good bond, mutual respect, but losing that spark? Keeps comparing herself to your ex.

Houston - Matt Schaub: Intelligent, good personality. Not the prettiest but she’ll do whatever.

Indianapolis - Andrew Luck: The classic rebound chick. Young and dorky but willing to learn.

Jacksonville - Blaine Gabbert: Long courtship, short affair.

Kansas City - Matt Cassel: A friend’s old hook-up, but still better than your other options.

Miami - Ryan Tannehill: Good body, no brains.

New Orleans - Drew Brees: Starts off smooth, but turns out she’s a gold digger.

New York Giants - Eli Manning: Your friend’s younger sister who you’re secretly in love with. Nasty inferiority complex.

New York Jets - Mark Sanchez: Self-centred model chick, but you can’t dump her… even if you do have a shot with a virgin.

New England - Tom Brady: Cute, smart, your family loves her, but there are trust issues.

Minnesota - Christian Ponder: Kind of cute but still very young, will she blossom or get fat? Only time will tell.

Oakland - Carson Palmer: Friend of a friend, but every date just goes horribly wrong.

Philadelphia - Michael Vick: Ex-girlfriend, giving it another try. Ends like before. Too many arguments leave you in the dog-house.

Pittsburgh - Ben Rothlisberger: Bit of a MILF, but her best days are behind her. Gets way too aggressive between the sheets.

San Diego - Philip Rivers: See Chicago - except replace sexy with average.

San Francisco - Alex Smith: The girl you just can’t shake… she’s been there through thick and thin, but it may be time...

Seattle - Russel Wilson: Sexy bookworm with a wild streak… could have long-term potential.

St. Louis - Sam Bradford: Witty and fun, but very average in bed.

Tampa Bay - Josh Freeman: Attractively unpredictable, but too hard to keep up with.

Tennessee - Jake Locker: Can look very hot, but keeps complaining she has a 'headache'.

Washington - Robert Griffin III: Could be the full package, but has a bad group of friends.

By Matt Mandich

Birth of a Sport: American Football in India and Pakistan

A unbelievable story on the growth of the EFLI (Elite Football League of India), India's first American Football League.

 One guy even MADE his own field! That's dedication!

Video Taken from the kick starter website

BAFA Uni Football Week Three Power Rankings

Each week I’m asked numerous questions, whether it be a random person in the street who can’t grow facial hair asking how long it takes to grow a full beard, or my mum asking when I will move my American football kit out of the way, or someone who follows football asking how easy it is to do power rankings despite the season only being a few weeks old. Each answer has the same common theme “about a week”, “sometime in the week”, “I judge teams on their performances on a week to week basis. It’s tough, but someone has to do it.”

So with that in mind, I guide your attention to our latest rankings which sees some high risers, some teams rapidly declining down the rankings, and a whole lot of new entries.

Being a ‘responsible’ adult, I advise all of those who have assignments due in sometime soon to ask yourself “will reading the latest power rankings really affect my grades?” Of course it won’t people! Now sit down, grab a pot noodle and read onwards!

1. Hertfordshire Hurricanes (2-0)
Herts posted another 50+ burger and continued to dominate all phases of the game. With minimal tough competition to take on during the regular season, the ‘Canes will probably continue to lead our power rankings for quite some time.

Next game – 25th November - @ Imperial Immortals

BAFA Uni Football Week Three Powerless Rankings

We’re three weeks into the season which means the 2012/13 season is well and truly underway. Last weekend we saw numerous teams from our week two powerless rankings claim their first victory of the season. All of those victors escape from our clutches for this week, but we wouldn’t be surprised if a few of them make their way back onto the list sometime soon!

UEA Pirates - LSBU Spartans Game Report

by Joe Boon

The chance for revenge awaited the UEA Pirates on Sunday as they took to a sun drenched Colney Lane to clash with the LSBU Spartans in their second fixture of the season. Last year the Spartans inflicted a shock defeat upon the Pirates and sent them back home from London bloodied, crestfallen and disappointed by their failure to play to their potential in a 21-8 loss. Would 2012 see a change of fortunes?

After winning the toss the Spartans elected to receive the kick-off and only managed to return to the 40yard line after strong tackling by the Pirates kick-off team. Stout defense against the run saw minimal yards for the Spartans and the ball was soon in the hands of the UEA offense, which exploded into action on their first play of the day, running back Chris Carson running the ball through the middle of the LSBU defense for a spectacular 60 yard touchdown. K Steve Omanyondo failed to convert the PAT and the ball was returned by the Spartans from the kickoff who were once again held at the 40yard line. The Pirates D continued to dominate with LB Piers Harrison-Reid sacking the Spartans QB Timothee Liechti for a loss of 8 yards forcing the punt and returning the ball to Pirate hands.

The Pirates running game continued to execute with precision, Carson soon adding his second and third touchdowns. K Steve Omanyondo making amends for his earlier miss with a successful PATs. The LSBU Spartans having exhausted their running options turned to the pass and began attacking passing lanes in earnest only to see UEA Overall MVP Misha Brooks grab an interception returning it for 30 yards to set up another Pirates attack.

After receiving the ball at the start of the second quarter the Pirates Offiense immediately continue to assert itself, with RB’s Rory Tovell, Joseph Van der Merwe and Matt Ball adding further scores. The Pirates D continued to shutdown the LSBU offense with Misha Brooks adding a second interception, until a spectacular play by Daniel Gyimah saw the Spartans score a touchdown. Gyimah continued to be a thorn in the side of the Pirates making further receptions and adding a second touchdown until he was contained by defensive adjustments. The first half ending 39-12

The Second half saw UEA tighten their defense, LB’s Steve Omanyondo and Tom Whipps ensuring the Spartans ground game was stopped at source while an interception from Defensive Captain Joe Boon kept the Spartans from putting any points on the board. On the Pirates side of the ball a raft of rookies gained experience coming on and making some big plays but sadly failing to put any points on the board, the final score standing at 39-12 as the two sides drew eachother into a second half stalemate.

This second victory saw the Pirates go 2-0 for the season, with their next game away to the Canterbury Chargers (1-1).

College Football Week 13 Preview

Due to lots of news throughout the college football world this week and some interesting discussions to be had I am going to limit this preview article to one game and then on Friday there’ll be second article with a Heisman debate and a discussion on the ramifications of the news from the BIG 10.

So without much further ado, the game I am going to preview is…

#1 Notre Dame @ USC – 01:00

                                                     Does anyone remember this??

With Ohio State not being eligible for any post-season play, and the Iron Bowl not looking like a big draw, my focus turns to the newly top ranked team in the country and their last game that with a win, will see them through to the National Championship game in January.

After seeing what happened to Kansas State last Saturday on their first week at #1, the Fighting Irish must be a little wary of the top spot but at the same time relishing the opportunity to beat rivals USC and secure a spot in the Championship game in Miami come January.

On the other side of the field are the Trojans of USC who have not much except pride to play for after suffering a loss to rivals UCLA, and aside from a minor bowl jaunt in post season play, don’t have much to look forward to. However, the pressure is now lifted off of USC with not many expecting them to beat the Irish, and with a young QB in Matt Wittek who will want to win over the USC fans before next season. the Trojans are probably at their most dangerous.

Notre Dame are the last unbeaten team in the nation, and to continue their winning ways they don’t want to be doing anything differently than what they’ve done already. I think the matchup of their defence against both Marquise Lee and Robert Woods is where the game will be won or lost, both receivers have the ability to make an average QB look like a star and the ND defence must tackle well in space if they are to limit these two on Saturday. With their safeties sitting back playing the pass it will be up to the USC running game to make more first downs than it is used to against possibly the best front seven in the nation this year, and if any of you saw Stephon Tuitt’s fumble return against Navy live and in person like me (sorry just had to get that in their), then you will know that they are all freakish athletes with immense size and are backed up by the countries best linebacker in Manti Te’o who will tackle anything that moves.

On offence, the Irish will most likely stick to their ground game against a USC defence that has been giving up 150.45 yards/game on the ground and who appear to not have the size or athleticism up front to contend, as they have had in previous years, seeing as their leading tackler is a safety. Everett Golson has been making steady improvements throughout the year, and though unspectacular in his passing stats (59% comp, 1918 yrds, 11 TDs, 5 INTs), has proven himself to be a very good manager of the offence along with being able to come up with the big play at the right time.

The Trojans suffered a devastating loss to UCLA last weekend and their fans are not happy about losing to their little brothers, but playing spoiler for another rival in ND could put a little shine back on their season and see them finish a respectable 8-4. For that to happen they need their redshirted freshman QB Max Wittek, who is in as starter through injury to Matt Barkley, to make some big plays as well as not make the mistakes to throw (literally) the game away. Don’t be fooled into thinking that this means all is lost for USC, this young man fits into the mould of many a successful QB, confident, big arm, good field vision and a quick release, even going on record as saying that his team is confident of an upset against the top ranked Irish, making for a intriguing watch come Saturday night. Don’t get me wrong, this could all be one way traffic if ND dominate the young gunslinger on defence and have their offence firing on all cylinders, but there’s a reason why the games are played, you just never know.

Prediction: Honestly, I’m not too sure how I feel about this one, genuinely think it could be an upset of another #1 team. But I’m going to go with form and the fact that USC might just tap out after a long season both mentally and physically for them. Notre Dame win  28– 17.

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