Tuesday, 26 February 2013

The Final Powerless Ranking

We’ve reached the end. This is the final powerless ranking of the 2012/13 University season. What do we do now? Maybe go to bed at a decent time as we won’t have as many articles to write!

Anyway, before we go onto the list, we believe we should add some things that deserve to be on the powerless rankings from the season that’s just passed us by.

The winter break – This is too long, it needs to be made shorter. Why? Because we could be playing games in these weeks instead of having too many awarded games being decided, or mid-week games at the end of the season. Someone needs to change it; maybe we could start the revolution!

The weather – The weather this year has made one thing clear – it’s about time all Uni teams played in a dome. Too many postponements when a droplet lands on the floor means some teams have been unable to complete a full season this year. That shouldn’t be happening. It does raise a question though, do teams get money back/discount next season for them paying for an eight game season, yet they don’t play eight games...

UK Gridiron Memes – Y U NO START SOONER? You missed everything from before Christmas! We still love what you’re doing at the moment though, keep it up!

There’s many more that could be added, but we think it’s time for the list!

10. Bangor MudDogs (1-5)
Remember when the MudDogs were challenging for the playoffs last season? Yeah, that was a long time ago! It’s safe to say that it’s been a poor season for the MudDogs, and that was capped off with a 30-14 loss against the UCLan Rams. Looks like it’s time for Bangor to go back to the drawing board to re-find their magic from last season. Well, it’s that or they take some of Michael Jordan’s Secret Stuff.

9. MMU Eagles (2-6*)
People may raise their eyebrows at the fact that we have a 2-6 team in our powerless rankings. Well, there are a number of reasons. Firstly, the Eagles haven’t won an official game since the first week of the regular season; secondly, the Eagles are on a six game losing streak, and finally, the Eagles have (as it stands) claimed their second win on a BUCS technicality. Poor show MMU, poor show.

The asterisk indicates that the Hallam – MMU game is currently under appeal. Therefore, the Eagles ranking could change.

8. ARU Rhinos (2-5)
The Rhinos earn a win due to LSBU forfeiting their season, but that’s not a good enough reason for the team to leave this week’s powerless rankings. No worries though, ARU can still hold their heads high after all but completing their rookie season with a win in the bag and avoiding the wooden spoon in the SEC.

7. Wolverhampton Wildcats (0-5)
Some people may say that the Wildcats should be lower following their 77-0 loss against NTU, but the Renegades left a certain Mr Miller on for quite some time in that game and he single handedly dominated them. With a game against the Jets this weekend (according to the BUCS site), there’s still time for the Wildcats to claw some pride back after what can only be described as a less than stellar season.

6. Edinburgh Napier Knights (0-7-1)
The Napier Knights ended the season with a narrow loss to the UWS Pyros in what sounds like a quite entertaining game with the final score being 36-30. While this season may be seen as a step back for the Knights following last year’s 3-5 season, we’re sure the team will come back strong next season to cause an upset or two in the Saltire conference.

5. Greenwich Mariners (2-6)
Yes, the Mariners earned another win due to the LSBU forfeits, but the Mariners also ended their season losing 48-6 to the Canterbury Chargers, bringing to end a terrible season for a team who were undefeated less than three years ago. Let’s hope the Mariners shore up their defence next season as the team ended the year with the worst points conceded total in the whole league.

4. Royal Holloway Bears (0-7)
The stage was set for the Bears! They were the final opponent for the Portsmouth Destroyers who were trying to go four for four in seven days. The upset was there for the taking after the Destroyers bruising game against Solent on Thursday. RHUL could’ve played the ultimate upset card and ruined the perfect week for Portsmouth and football fans around the UK, but they did not and the Destroyers won 15-0 to drop the Bears to 0-7! All we need now is their game against Oxford to go ahead...

3. DMU Falcons (1-7)
The Falcons ended their season with a 1-0 forfeit against the Nottingham Outlaws to end the season a miserable 1-7 and situated in the bottom half of the MAC standings. If we were honest, we were expecting a better season from DMU considering their ties to the Leicester Falcons senior team. However, it wasn’t to be. There’s always next year, guys!

2. Worcester Royals (0-7)
And just like that, the Royals end in the bottom two of our powerless rankings after going winless once again. Their 30-0 loss to Bath Spa showed that despite the move to a new conference, the Royals were still unable to cope with their opponents and ultimately went on to claim the wooden spoon once again. We would like to give the Royals some sort of pick me up for next season, but we can’t. It’s been four years already, you should be winning by now (even Surrey are winning)!

1. Oxford Lancers (0-7)
We kind of felt bad last week when we put the Lancers bottom of this list considering they’re in their rookie season, but after their 82-0 loss against BNU it makes a little bit more sense now. While things may look bad at the moment, such as finishing with the second worst points conceded record in the country, the Lancers should remember that Rome wasn’t built in a day (Ed: being Oxford students, I'm sure they don't need reminding), and now is the time to heal up before preparing for the 2013/14 season! They also need a cool nickname like their Cambridge rivals.


  1. Don't think there's anything wrong with Oxford's nickname - at least it's original

  2. Winter break issue:- yeah, if all Uni's had the same term times but sadly they dont.. Some stop for Xmas the 1st weekend in Dec, some dont re-start till well past mid-Jan.
    In addition, some Uni's have important half-year exams in January.

  3. Doesnt royal holloway pay their coach? Im sure I saw an advertisement for the position a year or two ago. Who did they hire?


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