Tuesday, 21 February 2012

Week 10 Powerless Rankings: Rankings 15-1

With a request from a mysterious anon on the unofficial forum, we have decided to begin a powerless ranking! It's time to name and shame the worst teams in BUAFL! A message to all teams on this list, if you’re not happy with your ranking – stop sucking!

15. Bath Spa Bulldogs (1-4)
The second year SWAC team kick start our powerless rankings as they currently sit at 1-4. The Bulldogs started off showing glimpses of hope as they lost to the Cuda by only one score and beat the Gloucester Gladiators, since then, it’s all been downhill.  In their other three loses, Bath Spa have conceded 141 points whilst mustering a measly 8 points…The Bulldogs could still finish with a three win record as they still have to face off against the winless Tarannau and Worcester.

14. UWS Pyros (1-5)
The Pyros are sitting at the number 14 spot mainly because of their upset victory against the Sunderland Spartans a few weeks ago. The Pyros poor points against is mainly down to facing the Stirling Clansmen twice (losing 58-0 and 90-0 respectively). UWS could still earn their second win of the season when they take on the lowly Teesside Cougars in the Borders conference Toilet Bowl.

13. Staffordshire Stallions (1-5)
For a team that always build up their own hype, the 2011-12 Stallions have been less than impressive. So far, Staffordshire have conceded the second most points in the MAC and would probably be lower on the list if it wasn’t for their early season win against MMU. A win over Worcester at the weekend should see the Stallions avoid being on this list this time next week.

12. Liverpool Fury (0-3)
In their first year back after a short break, Liverpool are either losing or postponing the games they’re involved in. In the games they have managed to play, the Fury defence has actually shown signs of potential as they have held three teams competing for playoff spots to 13, 10 and 22 points respectively. If only they could get their games to go ahead so we can fully judge on how good/bad the team is.

11. Lancaster Bombers (1-5)
How in the world have the Bombers gone from a team competing in the playoffs to a team getting continually shafted by their opponents including a 97-0 loss to Hallam? The Bombers have currently conceded the most point in BUAFL (we have been informed that the stats for the Royals are wrong on BUAFL.net) and it’s no surprise to see why when you look at their fixtures. Fortunately for Lancaster they still have Huddersfield on their schedule with a win restoring some sort of pride into the team.

10. Coventry Jets (0-5)
It seems like the Jets have taken a step back since their two win rookie season. This season, Coventry have been held to 0 points on three occasions and have only managed to reach double digit points on one occasion (a 15-10 loss to Leicester). If the Jets are hoping to restore some pride they’ll need to claim a win over rookie team DMU at the weekend.

9. MMU Eagles (0-6)
Oh boy, MMU sure have been thrown into the spotlight of late after the whole bullying/coach firing/girlfriend sharing shenanigans which may have taken some attention away from their poor season. In their rookie year, the Eagles are still winless through three quarters of the season, but there are some signs of hope with the winless LJM (probably will end up a 1-0 win) and Tyrants left on the schedule for this young team to try and get their first 1 in the W column.

8. Manchester Tyrants (0-6)
Not wanting to let their local rivals steal all of the limelight, the Tyrants have also provided their own headline news in the last few weeks with the news that they were folding, then they weren’t, but were cancelling games instead…oh how the 6-4 loss to Bradford seems like a long time ago. Like the Eagles, the Tyrants could end up getting a 1 in the W column as they will potentially be facing the LJM Fury once the fixtures get rearranged. They also have the Manc bowl to possibly look forward to.

7. Teesside Cougars (0-6)
Despite having a worse record than some of the teams below them, Teesside are at the number 7 spot because they seem to be able to points on the scoreboard (scored in 5 of their 6 games this year). In the two games when they haven’t played a top tier Borders team, the Cougars have only lost by one score. Teesside will be hoping they earn their first win of the season when they travel up north to take on the UWS Pyros.

6. Gloucester Gladiators (0-4)
Despite still being winless, Gloucester has moved up two spots in our powerless rankings because of the poor performances of other teams around the league. Looking at their results, it’s pretty easy to see why the Gladiators are still winless. Through four games, the lowest point’s total that Gloucester has conceded is 35! It doesn’t help when their offence has only managed to score in one game…

5. Huddersfield Hawks (0-5)
Why are the Hawks the lowest ranked team from the Northern conference? A number of reasons, but the main two being that they didn’t score their first points of the season until the weekend just gone and they conceded a triple digit score against the Hallam Warriors. With two teams with losing records left on the Hawks schedule, losses to these two teams would drop Huddersfield further down our rankings.

4. Tarannau Aberystwyth (0-5)
1.2. Why is this number significant? Well that’s currently the average points scored per game for the Aber team. Yes, in five games Aberystwyth have only managed to score a grand total of 6 points which is one of the main reasons for Tarannau now dropping to the number four spot. Looking at their remaining schedule, we’d be surprised if Aber didn’t end up going winless a year after going 3-5.

3. Surrey Stingers (0-5)
Things could’ve been a lot worse for the Stingers had their games against Northampton and Portsmouth not fell victim to the weather. With their latest game being called at half time, Surrey remain in the bottom three once again (good job it was as the score was 50-0 when the game was called). At least their defence can look forward to playing two Double Wing offences!

2. Anglia Ruskin Phantoms (0-6)
The only SEC team on the list were the former number one time on our rankings when we last did them. Clearly the year out didn’t help the Phantoms as they’re still winless and have only managed to score in two games. The only plus sign for ARU is that they still have Westminster left on their schedule meaning that they could end up finishing with one win this season.

1. Worcester Royals (0-5)
The Royals slide down two spots to claim the crown as the worst team in BUAFL. After scoring 26 points against two rookie teams (6 against DMU and 20 against Northampton), Worcester have scored a grand total of 2 points in their last three games. You know what makes scoring only 2 points worse? The Royals have conceded a combined 166 points in these three games. The Royals face off against Staffordshire next weekend before trying to complete their games against Bath Spa and varsity rivals Gloucestershire where they could save face. 


  1. Surrey will get another half a game this week against BNU.

  2. "would probably be lower on the list if it wasn’t for their early season win against MMU."

    ... Isn't that the same as every team? Wouldn't every team be lower if they didn't win? Idiot.

    Also it wasn't early season, it was 3 weeks ago.

    1. Also, as a team they don't hype themselves up, they are hyped up based on previous successes by people outside the team and program.

    2. wind your neck in...

    3. ^^^^ Definitely someone from the staffs spitting their dummy out

    4. Somebody needs a hug...

    5. No need to get a touchy, Mr Touchy Mc Touchyson.

  3. It should be pointed out that ARU did take Cambridge to double overtime earlier this season.


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